I Don't Want To Be Here

[charlie_girl]

Thanks guys, for the welcome and the support. You are all right, I cannot send the letter, he does not need to hear that from me now. As you all know, sometimes it is so hard to not be heard, to not be validated as to what we are feeling, guess that is why they invented this BB!

RCR, I read your post about denial, just not sure where I fit. I have kept the firm belief over 17 months that somewhere lurks the man that loved me, but on Friday, hearing him say again that he does not feel the same about me, it just started me questioning my belief. From your posts I see that you always believed in sweetheart, I envy you your conviction.

I guess I will just keep looking in the shiny face of my son, and keep on keeping on, for his sake. If I walk away now I will contribute to the breakup of his family, and I do not want that.

I just got an e-mail from the missing in action hubby, saying that he and my son are taking me out for my b-day, and that he will not take no for an answer. I guess this is where I go, act as if, and make like the conversation Friday didn't even happen?