I DO know that friends/family will not be happy that we kept this from them, and at the same time, when I tell them my reasoning, I hope they will understand and respect my decision not to hurt them, too. On the other hand, if they did know, they might put pressure on H, which may be good, may be bad, but I think I read in one of the books that it's not good to involve family and ask for their help in reconciling...
I was thinking that maybe I would tell the girlfriend that I went out with the other night - the one I told you about who is going through the separation. She has only met H once or twice and is not in real estate, not in our circle of friends. I don't know her that well, but she is going through what I'm going through right now, except that she is now on the other side of it of wanting a D while her H wants to work it out, but no A involved. I will consider talking to her.
I DO really feel like I want to talk to my Mom so much, as she is my best friend, and I know she would want to be there for me. At the same time, I love her so much, and I don't want her to hurt just to make ME feel better, if that makes sense.
Lin, I'm having such a hard time. I don't know what has happened to me since I got home from Vegas, but I just can't stop crying and obsessing over this. I need to call some girlfriends and schedule some lunches/dinners and get back to they gym. I know that will help.
Mostly, I just need to be able to focus on my work again. Lin, I'm getting really, really scared about our business. Bills are behind, paperwork is behind -- and you've got to understand that that is SO UNLIKE me. I am a perfectionist and very detail-oriented... I know it would help me to get caught up on my work, and at the same time, I just don't care....
Why am I having such a hard time these last few days, Lin? Where is this coming from, and what do I do? I'm tired of crying. And I keep telling myself, just relax, take deep breaths, and think about something positive - think how good it will feel to get all of this work done - think how good it will feel when you save this M to know that you hung in there on these types of days... but then 2 minutes later I'm back in tears... Help, Lin!!!!!!!!!!!!!
