I still think it would be good for you to talk/confide in someone you know personally...they know you, understand you, and care about you...maybe a friend who will understand your desire to reconcile later on...one who won't ask to many questions of you but will allow you to talk...
Interesting that you are the "baby"...ME TOO...iteresting too that they worry a lot just like you...maybe this is something for you to focus on...I know my H told me that I worried "too much"...he said this drove him nuts as he always tried to keep things going and I was the one in turmoil keeping him distracted....now I try not to worry about things that I can't do anything about...it isn't easy to do...but I am working on it...it does make my life less stressful...
One thing you need to consider in keeping this totally silent from family...is IF in the event things don't work out and they are told how will they feel about you keeping them in the dark and keeping them from being there to support you???
You do what you need to do but personally I think you need a bit closer support system...one that knows you and help you pull yourself together when you need it most...I didn't cry to my family all that much...but there were times that talking to my sister or my mom did help me...and like I said I had a few very close friends that totally understood me and supported me...one even assured me that if H and I did reconcile that they would be just as happy for me....they were there for US or ME...whatever I needed...those were true friends!!!
