EMT and Theoden, Great stuff. I too need to (re)discover my inner warrior. The irony with me is that when my W and I met, I was playing rugby, moving every 6 months, and sometimes just living out of friends places. To become a "Super Dad", I became a predictable, boring guy. Of course also one who has provided a great life for my W and kids, if they only could recognize it. Note that I think that my kids are now just as spoiled as my W!! Somethin's gotta give, baby.
EMT, carpe diem. I hope you have a great time with your buds in the 5k.
Theoden, another great warrior book is the Iliad. To be Hector or Achillies? Maybe Hector by day and Achillies by night?? I think that is the right balance! SD.
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
F-it I am shaving my head, getting a tatoo and joining a motorcycle gang..... ok maybe not..
I agree.... I now see how much of my former self that I have given up. Before I was married I played Baseball and fished on a daily basis. Since I was getting payed to play baseball it was easy to set time aside for it.
Well last night was uneventfull. At her moms request my W went to her parents house. She came home somewhat relaxed, I have no idea what/if anything occured besides my FIL appologizing for yelling at my W.
Our interactions were pleasant last night. She still will not touch me, but she sleeps in the same bed with me nightly. WTF....
Well the puppy cried most of the night which was not a surprise to me but the wife seemed annoyed. I haven't had a good night sleep in months, so waking up to the dog was better then waking up to my mind racing.
My W called me eary this morning because the puppy had her up. The puppy for the second day in a row crapped in her cage and then pissed on the carpet. As my wife described to me her morning I couldn't help but laugh...it actually felt good to laugh at her and tell her I told you so. I knew this what having a puppy would be like. At this point I actually feel the puppy is a good addition to the sitch. I think the puppy will be a good distraction to all of us - especially my W.
Well I better put my head down and get some work done today. My daughter has T-ball practice this evening which should be fun.
Here is to being warriors. I won't go as far as calling us wimps... that might be how we are feeling... but I don't think that is true for any of us.
Well the Wildman inside of me went to a Brazilin steakhouse for lunch. For those of you who never been to one let me describe it briefly. There is a awesome salad bar, but that is not why you come to this place, then the waiters walk around with 16 types of meat on swords. Yeah, it was only 16 because it was the lunch menu - theres more with dinner. It is all you can eat. Sorry for the vegans out there, but if you like to eat animal carcus it is great.
The W has emailed me twice today and I have yet to respond. I will have to call her later because I have no idea where t-ball practice is for my daughter.
Her one email informed me that she got called into work. She can say no. To justify her going in she now tells me that she got called in. Little does she know that I know that she puts herself on the volunteery oncall list. She used to thankful for the fact that she did not have to work and used work as an outlet. Her co-workers used to make fun of her calling her shifts princess shifts(she would only go in for 4hrs at a time). Now she is hiding in her work. It breaks my heart to see the devastation that she has caused and how selfish she really is being. I do not mean to be bad mouthing my wife she really is an amazing woman, but she is not my wife at this time...she's NUTZ...... I need to come down on myself as much as I do my wife. Our sitch is a product of both of us failing to meet each others needs. I am seeing my faults but am afraid if she nevers comes along side of me that I will not see them all.
Patience, Patience, Patience....... this will take time. (Sorry talking to myself again)
I will update everyone later, there probably won't be much to tell but then again you never know.
I went to D5 T-ball practice and meet my wife, 2 DD and the puppy. My W was there for 30 min and then left me with the puppy and 2 DD. It was extermly muddy at this park were practice was, so everyone got extremly dirty. So once practice was done I went home and gave everyone a bath. Yes that included the puppy. I did not sign up for this puppy now I am giving here baths. Oh, should also mention that the puppy sh!@ all over the place and pissed all over my bedroom carpet while I was giving the girls a bath. Again I did not sign up for this. I again have to admit that this dog should be good for the sitch.
Funny thing this evening happened when I pulled into the park to go to t-ball practice. My W actually smiled at me, can you believe it. She was for the most part pleasant with me, but again you can tell that she is purposely keeping her distance.
My W's girlfriend stopped by tonight to drop off a dog book. So I talked with her a bit and she cannot believe who my W is rightnow. The deception that my W is under is apparent to everyone but her. I just keeping tell myself that the one that is in my wife is stronger then this world.
Well I am going to keep getting on my knees and GAL. I am also not going to believe a single word that my W says because nobody does - she's NUTZ.(again I normally think the world of my W)
Ok here is this mornings update: Yeah I have an update....
Well before I started DB'ing I had a good friend that I confided in and still confide in. About 2 yrs ago his wife was a WAW and they have since worked through most of there isues. They are now happliy married. Ok, so you now a little bit more about my support system. I have my in-laws, and my friend. I have heard the warning about the in-laws, so I am trying to not tell them the details of our sitch...this is hard since they have had great advice.
Well my friend and I, before I found this site always tried to figureout what is going on and what can be done to fix the sitch. He would always get me worked up about the OM and one day we drove by the OM room to see if he was there with my W. Well they were not there, but little did I know he started playing detective after that. Yeah that is right he has been playing detective. As he was learning things he would inform me, to which I told him that I did not want to know what he was up to and made it clear that I did not ask him to do this. Well a couple of weeks ago he did catch my W at the OM hotel room. She still claims nothing sexual has occured. I actually thought that day was my wifes breaking day.... She later apologized and stated that she wanted to work on our M. Well by the end of that night it was apparent that she wanted to run again. I called her on that and she was confused that I could read her since she thought that she was playing the part. I do not get enough credit for knowing my W.
Well lets fastforward two weeks. We thought that the OM left his hotel and had no clue as to were he went. Well my friend called me this morning to let me know that he was back at the hotel. To which I answered that I did not care because I cannot prevent their interaction. I also did not want to know because....well I don't want to know.
So no real drama has happened today and I am really not expecting there to be any. My in-laws are joining my family for dinner tonight and then we will be going to church for a mid-week service. Even though there probably won't be any conversations or drama tonight I will update everyone tonight.
Good for you on not wanting to know the ugly sorrid details. The OW in my sitch - her ex H was friends with me and my H too. When he found out the truth (they were < 1 wk from the big D) about their A he went ballistic - trying to pull me into their vortex and after 1 day of hearing all the nasty details I sent him an email asking not to call or email. I apologized for not being there for him but it was to hurtful for me - I would have never healed and detached with all that ugliness. He called less than 2 wks leaving a VMail stating he was wanted to know how I was doing - but he also was going to tell me OW was at my H apt (which I knew was going to be happening - that was the POINT of this apt). I never did return his call - just wanted to stay out of the VORTEX DRAMA....
You did GREAT telling your friend you did not want to hear the stuff - it will eat you up and you CANNOT control her the OM or their feelings/interactions! GOOD JOB!!!
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
Thanks for pat on the back... I actually told my friend the other day that I don't need to keep trying to figure this stuff out, I just need encouragement and support.. Hopefully he hears me.....
All,
This is a question that I have been wrestling with for sometime now. I believe that I know the answer but I want your opinions anyway.
Question: Should I go to the my W HR department and let them know of the situation between my W and the OM?
I personally think that they both should lose their jobs and work on there themselves and their families. This hosipital is a Catholic hospital and if they care at all they would not tolerate this type of behaviour. The stories that come out of the ER from its staff are amazing. It is a breeding ground for sin.
The reason that I am considering it is because this will force them to stay away from each other and I can put the decision about their work situation on the employer and stop wrestling with it myself. I also seeing that I am to protect my wife since she cannot protect herself and by doing this I can remove a avenue that is being used to attack her. As far as I know this is their only contact... then again I do not really know since I haven't snooped or asked recently.
