The trip was pretty good...but can't say it was romantic...but we all had a great time...I will write more later...
As for you and the emotions...sometimes they just need to come out...one concern I have is that I do research on any medication I am given by a doctor and have found things that a Dr. might fail to inform you about...such as side effects...it could be that you are having rebound effects from both the Xanax and the sleeping pills...some meds MUST be taken at certain times...and others as needed...also...it is very important to get on a personal schedule for sleep and wake times...it seems that you are taking sleeping pills when you should be waking up (i.e. around 7 am)...I realize you are tired but maybe plan on taking the sleeping pill at a regular time at night, say 10pm...then hopefully getting 8 hours of sleep in...wake rested and get up at say 8am every morning....your body needs a schedule of rest/sleep/wake time....this will help tremedously with your emotions also...
If you are having trouble sleeping even with meds at night...try taking a long walk before or after dinner (make sure you eat at regular times, as close as you can)....concentrate on deep breathes, exhales, and getting the pulse up....come home, take a long hot shower....watch something light and funny on TV or read a good book...avoid emotional issues at this time...YOU NEED TO SLEEP....prayer is a good thing to do at this time too...let God hear your heart...pour it out to him...and let it go
I know how aweful this all is...I had this happen when I didn't have a job, a home, and I had 3 kids depending on me (2 were young adults and they got jobs to help me but they still needed a mom!)...I had been married for almost 25 years too...it was a blow to me...a hard blow...
You can do this...but it has been eating at me...you say you are close to your mom...don't you think now would be a good time to talk to her???...I know I kept this thing from my very best friend...when she found out she was hurt that I hadn't told her...after that she became a rock for me...this happened a few times as word got out...in the end it helped me to not have to hold in this aweful thing...and to have someone to talk to...the only thing to be cautious of is disclosing the details and putting H in bad light...it is best just to say we are going through a bad time...I think he is having a major MLC....or we need to get our selves straight before we can work on our marriage...it will be obvious to those who love you that your emotions have been controling you and H...maybe they can honestly help you with this...so...what do you think???
