Had a terrible day - snapping at S1 and just generally breaking down in tears much of the day. Feel like I can't cope with this anymore. Feel numb and used. I don't even think I have the ability to have a relationship with anyone anymore. Just totally empty.
H doesn't plan on being with us this weekend since he isn't working Sat night - plans on being with OW - so how can he want to come home? He has a perfect opportunity to spend time with us that he never normal gets - but he won't. I guess our home is his hotel when he comes into town for work.
Me and S1 alone again.....when everyone else is spending time with family and having BBQs in the nice weather. Here I go, feeling sorry for myself again!
H says he has been away so long (moved out 6 months ago) that it is hard to come back....but it seemed so easy to leave me after 14 years! I just don't get it. Although he did say that he wishes he could turn back the clock so this didn't happen. I guess that's a positive. I told him we couldn't change the past but we can change what happens from this point on.
I know that I need to hold out a bit longer and let OW be the one begging and crying....but I don't want to be second best, i.e. when she gives him an ultimatum and he runs home (or not).
Guess I'm just having a bad day...
Me 36 ring on H 41 ring off S2 Together since 1992 Married: 2000 Bomb Aug 06 H moved out Oct 06 (and straight in with OW)
