Ok now I'm really bummed. I just had typed a new posting and had a power bump and lost it. AHHAHAHAH.
I think I really blew it this morning. H and I had an agruement about not asnwering his phone yesterday and we had a little family emergency (and we handled it) but I guess it was more that he didn't come home to help with the family business. It then turned into a argument about the OW and what she has done. ( I swore I wouldn't do that again but I lost my cool and I guess we just know what buttons to push). All day he has called me and was kinda obnoxious and I just made light of it. I answered the phone because we were comuticating about and with our youngest S in college. He needed some advice. My H was really being kinda ignorate about it probably because of our fight. Then he was mad at our other S for not returning his PU soon enough. We had used it this week end in our business. My H is living 100 miles away ( to make a long story short. He has been over there helping his brother get his plant back together after a family accident this summer when our nephew was killed. It has been tough on everyone. So I have been taking care of our business and working full time.) They have it up and running and my H wants to go back to doing his old job and being gone anywhere from 5 to 9 months a year. He makes really good money and I think he is taking it out on everyone because he wants to go except the OW and she makes it fun and has been making him shirts and everything. I guess I have a hard time being replaced by someone like her who has the reputation of not being a nice person. Her own family stood up for me (I heard).
I know I need to keep GAL which I have been working on. Everyone has complemented me on how well I look and even to the point of building up my ego and saying you look hot. What away to make a 48 year old feel good. Its just so lonely at times that is is hard to take. That is another thing I told him that it was so frustrating and lonely for me. I know I broke every DB rule. My oldest son is very good at telling me to become strong and look out for me. Its funny how you can be so strong in business and everyday life and completely fall apart thinking about M and H. I think he has harden his feelings so much that he doesn't care. He has told me he doesn't know if he wants to be married to me anymore. He wants to move on with his life.
I guess the hardest thing he has done is pull away from our sons. He is pretty hard on them but they are really good kids. One has graduated from college and went back and one is a junior in college. They are hard working boys. People tell him all the time you have the family that every guy wants and what is wrong with you. It tears myheart out to see him pull himself a way from them and only occasionally want to do something with them. Besides the OW he has an old High school friend that we have never figured out why he can demand my H come see him because he needs some help and h will drop everything and go. I am very lucky because I am very close with the boys and they are very supportive of me. I couldn't ask for more.
Well I guess I am just venting tonight. I would take any advice at all. I know it is hard to teach a old dog new tricks but I am trying. There are times I wonder should I try and get him back. Will he ever be happy with me. After all these years 25m and 27 total I stilled loved him more than he would ever realize. He told me he still loved me but differently.
Advice Please......Thanks....Could it be a MLC in full form.... One time he said all wives just turn into old house wives who are set in there ways. I have always been really active in our business which is outside work and probaly neglected the house work because of an over load and no help at times. What do you Think?
