need a little encouragement

[Heywyre]

C told H and I that people that don't argue (or at least disagree strongly - lol) on things are avoiding having to deal with it.

My H and I rarely, rarely ever disagree on anything but I truly believe now that it was a way for both of us, not just him (because would openly admit he didn't like confrontation) to avoid having to deal with the conflict at all. In his situation it came from bad past relationships, with me I can see now how it came from my childhood (it was just easier to not say anything than to try and fight back because I wans't going to win anyway - large family, very dominating mother etc.)

It's amazing how your childhood relates to so much in your present life. I just finished really a really good book that sets a lot of those things out. It's called "After the Affair" by Janis Spring - its fantastic and really opened my eyes to a lot of things that were going on in our R right now (almost 4 months post bomb)

What I really liked about the book is, had I read it when I was going through the real heavy duty emotions (immediately after the bomb) I don't know if I would have picked up all I needed to from it

Good read!! (especially for women whose H were the ones that cheated on them)