need a little encouragement

[RedHeadWife]

I've been exactly where you are right now -- still there actually. H & I have been back & forth over the last 3 mnths since he dropped the D bomb, however, this last time, I have tried not to expect anything from him, no pressure, no R talk, just take it day by day. I figure it took him years to get to where he wanted a D and it's going to take him awhile to "get that lovin' feeling" back. He also has said "I don't love you that way anymore" numerous times.

Like you said, there are a LOT of times when I feel like I am feeling what he was feeling when he was so unhappy - lonely, rejected sexually, etc. I now know the horrible feeling of those things and am determined that he never feels that way again.

I have just kept on loving him gently, I guess is the best way to say it. I always have to initiate sex if I want it and I keep doing it b/c I'm convinced it will help us become closer intimately. I just make sure I TALK to him all the time, take time to ask him how his day was, take time to pay attention to just him.

I guess I'm not truly giving you any advice here, but just letting you know I know how you are feeling -- there are so many of us going through the same stuff.

My H still talks to his "friend" he "started to like" while talking to her for who knows how long about our issues & problems instead of talking to me about them. I guess I figure I will deal with that if it continues once I feel truly confident that things are really ok w/ H and me.

I keep reading your last post and I have thought all of the same things. I would love to hear my H call me "baby" again and truly feel like he means it when he says ILY.

I guess it's just whether you really want your M to work out or not. If you do, patience is the key and I know that's not easy!!