Can someone tell me if just being there and being nicey nice and NOT distancing works? Am I doing right by putting on the pressure as I think the OW is too?
Chicki, The fact that H has been staying at home more is probably a good sign. I wonder if you two need to have a conversation regarding expectations of how much and in what way you two spend time together. Once that is cleared-up it seems that each of you would have the freedom to pursue personal interests. If not, then I would wonder what the problems is?
I think that putting pressure on him to end the R with the OW will not get the results you want. It will simply force him into hiding it more from you. What will end his R with her, is to increase the positives in your R, and for him to be willing to work on the M, and not use the OW as an exit (the latter piece is not in your control).
I think your H's response to your GAL efforts reflects his expectations he has regarding how much time you spend together, and possibly other issues. Find out what his expectations are regarding time spent together, and see if you think it's realistic.
I'll be curious to see if he wants to spend quality time with you, or he wants you around so he can "keep an eye on you."
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
