Has anyone had a difficult time dealing with residual resentment from their spouse?
My wife has always been non-commital to any sort of career other than her art. Because of that, she's worked dead-end jobs for a long time now.
Now she's interested in a professional career, but is discouraged about how much time it takes. (She's in her mid-thirties.)
Her response to this is to tell me that she'll "never put someone else's life before her own."
My journey through school and employment searching was very hard on us, and it did influence our choices. But if she never asserted herself about this career before (this is actually a very new interest of hers, and she has a habit of entertaining new interests in this way), why am I getting the brunt of her resentment now?
I don't know how to handle this. Truthfully, I don't think that she seriously thought about the possible outcomes of not having a "backup plan," and I never brought it up too much because she would get very angry that I would "doubt" her eventual success in the art world.
It is NEVER too late to educate yourself. Regardless of what we do, time passes. If you use the excuse, and that's what it is an excuse, to say you are "too old" or too whatever, it will never happen. I went back to school at the age of 38 to get my legal secretary certification. Then when I was 48 I went back to school AGAIN to get my paralegal certification - that one took me almost 4 years!! And that was when I was also working fulltime. So don't give me the crap and all the boo-hoos about putting her life on hold while waiting for someone else. That's just feeling sorry for herself.
The best thing you can do is support her ideas in anyway you can. Tell her you are behind her all the way if that is what she wants to do and you will help her to achieve her goals
That is what my H did for me and I will never forget it. When I thought I was being silly to even think of going back to school after graduating some 22 years earlier, he was the one that gave me the push and encouragement to move forward and I can't thank him enough for just being there for me.
I am now a sessional instructor at the college, teaching the same program I feared taking some 16 years ago - tell that to your wife!!
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
