DR says A lasts 6 months. True???

[Ophelia]

Ophelia,

I have the same fantasy.... I just wish it was that easy. I keep thinking that my wife is going to break and we can start rebuilding at that point.

Good to know I'm not the only one then. I too have been hoping H will snap out of it. He really is a very intelligent guy, so why he persists with his current behaviour is beyond me.

Still don't know how to add that thread so you can just click on it... Will figure it out one of these days!

Type this:
[url=link] title [/url]
Only instead of where it says "link", copy and paste the URL you want to link to. So if you wanna link to a thread, open that thread in a window, then highlight the address at the top of your browser window then copy it and paste it where it says "link" above.
Where it says "title", type the text you want to show Eg: check out my thread.
Hope that didn't just confuse you more.

Like you Ophelia, my H's A started up again after we had separated - so does that still count as an A since we are still married, or is it a new relationship???

If you ask me, we're still M, so there's no doubt about it being an A.
If you ask H, the M was over the minute he walked out, so from that point on he could do whatever (and whoever) he liked without having to feel guilty.
So as far as he's concerned, he's just moved on to a better, new relationship. In my case, I believe he's going out of his way to justify his actions, because of how much he despised his father, when he had an A several years back, (H full on hated him and to this day hasn't ever fully forgiven him). No way could he ever admit to doing the same thing, so he's gone out of his way to convince himself he's not doing the same thing, and I don't know that he'll ever be ready to look himself in the mirror and face the reality of it all.

As far as I know, H didn't keep his A secret from anyone except me. In fact, I suspect he probably took OW to the wedding of a couple of our friends. A wedding I would have very much liked to go to, but couldn't because H would be there. Taking your OW to a friend's wedding. Hmmmmm. I suspect that several of my old friends, (who I haven't heard a peep from since H left) are buddies with OW now. So I don't know that the whole secretive excitement thing ever really applied in my H's case. It's just been a "real relationship" from the start.