Maybe I am. I can't speak for cac4, obviously, but I think it is true for me.

I have always been uncomfortable with the concept of spirituality, mostly because I didn't understand what it meant. I grew up in a conservative religion, and although I have rejected the beliefs of that church, I never felt like I had anything to replace them. Spirituality was something I never could quite put my finger on.

I said already that I picked up "Superior Man" and I looked through some of it. I started having more light-bulb moments and now I'm getting a sense of what spirituality means to me. Music is definitely a big part of it. (Part of my revelation may be due to my weekend choral performance in my replacement church--I feel "at home" both making music, and in that church.)

I'm starting to think that I didn't know what spirituality was because I didn't understand and accept (love) myself. That probably makes no sense. I still haven't made sense of it myself.

Put simply, music made me feel like I was OK. It didn't make me feel like a bad person, an inherently flawed person. It made (and makes) me feel good. As a kid, I didn't often feel that way. I don't think cac4 did either.

cac4 talked recently about something from his childhood. He was a member of an exclusive boy's choir and was (is) an exceptional singer/musician. His best friend was a member of the choir too. The friend was accepted to attend a boarding school in NY on a singing scholarship. (I apologize in advance to H because I know I won't remember all the details.) The friend got free room and board at the school in exchange for singing in the boy's choir. Think of it as music school for pre-adolescent boys. When they weren't doing their school work, they were studying music, practicing, performing. A very similar environment to the one cac4 experienced at the college level. cac4 would have been accepted to the school easily. cac4 desperately wanted to attend this school, but his parents wouldn't let him, because they thought it wouldn't be good for him to be away from his family! Can you imagine? It would have been the BEST thing they could have done for him.