I'm so glad that you're continuing to make progress. Keep going with the baby steps. Remember my story of having H back (though he wasn't REALLY commited to being back) for a short time, and I "freaked out" because he didn't want to talk about us, and I started being clingy, sad, etc., etc., all over again. Wow, I'm sure he wanted to stay around to be with a person like THAT, huh? Not so much...
Also, it was almost harder for me when H DID come home versus when he was gone the first time. I felt awkward around him and was conscious of every single move I made and word I said. Couldn't sleep well, work well, etc., etc. I thought that once he came home there would be this huge relief. Well, obviously there was in some ways, but in others it was so much harder than I expected. AND I think I already told you this, but we took things way too fast - acted like nothing had ever happened. That's what H said he wanted. That was NOT the right thing to do. I needed to keep DBing on certain things and keep giving him space and let things come together slowly.
I think I already told you this, but if not, re-read the section at the end of the last resort technique about what happens with spouse comes home right away after you start DBing. It talks about how to take things slow - or you might find yourself in the same situation again. I know you've been through this before, so you already know these things.... Also, read the end of the infidelity section that talks about what to do when spouse DOES come home. I think it talks about that it might be a while before they're ready to talk, etc.
You are doing so well, HB. Keep your chin up, be proud of all of the progress that you've made, and don't think for one minute that your H isn't feeling pain and sadness from all of this. He might not be showing it outwardly...
Think of how far you've gotten. Take a deep breath, and remember to be patient and don't overlook the baby steps.
