Starting to really piece it back together

[Heywyre]

HB - I know its tough but you have to hang in there. However, there does come a time when you will need to speak up and most likely that will be when he feels it is time to come home or you have "dated" long enough and you need more of a commitment - only you will know when the time is right

This is my second "go-around" so I semi know what I am talking about. I made the horrible mistake of not setting the boundaries the first time and clearing the air. I handled it all wrong, just to have it happen all over again 4 years later. The torture is almost unbelieveable but I am bound and determined to figure it out this time and because I am doing things differently, progress is being made more quickly. H is even reading the books I bring home - THAT is a DEFINITE plus. He would NEVER have read anything like that in the past, thought it was all a "bunch of crap". He is also going to counselling - one-on-one and couples - another BIG plus.

We are both handling this one differently and realize this is probably our last kick at the can, so to speak, so we had better get our s@@t together and do it right this time

As much as my H didn't leave (although there were many times it came pretty close) sometimes I think it would have been easier to work on things without the constant emotional mess flying around me. To each their own.

Take it one day at a time and don't try to rush it. Rushing it just buries things and will end up having it fester all over again if you get into a "comfortable zone" too quickly. As much as you would like things to move along quicker, trust me, it is for the best if it takes its time a little

Hang in there