Need advice

[want2believe]

Hi Afraid,

It's nice to know that someone is interested. Sorry, I'm a little down right now. WAH has moved back in. The lease on his duplex is done. We finished moving him out on Wednesday. I'm still trying though to get the house back in shape though, and figure out where to put everything, as we now have duplicates of some things. I'm also trying to re-organize the closets and drawers for clothes.

I have to admit though that I do have reservations, and more so lately. For around 2-3 weeks around when I agreed to let WAH come home, WAH was very loving and touchy, and I felt like he really wanted to be with me, and didn't want to loose me again. But as time goes on, WAH seems more distant. I don't know what he's thinking, but it's weird. It's like I know he wants to be here, but he's backed off on initiating anything, and when I do, it's not like he turns me away or anything, but he just doesn't respond the way he use to. I feel like I'm not turning him on anymore.
We have been going out on dates on Friday, but usually it's sometime Friday when one of us mentions it. I'm somewhat apprehensive though at times, wondering if he'll ask. I don't assume we'll be going out every Friday. I've told him how I'm feeling, and I don't know if it's helpping or driving him further away. Just this past Friday when I mentioned it, he said hew as still working on things himself. I take that to mean, (which I probably shouldn't) that he's still not sure this is what he wants. I struggle with this daily lately - and I find myself wondering if he's just manipulating me. I know I shouldn't be thinking this way, but I can't help it. It doesn't help either knowing that either one of us, or both of use could potentially loose our jobs within the next couple of months, as we both work for the same company, and they have a big number of layoffs coming. I'll probably jinks myself here, but I feel a little more confident than he doesn't that I won't loose my job. If WAH had stayed lovey dovey, I don't think I'd be feeling this way, but since he's backed off, I can't help but wonder if part of him is only doing this because he might loose his job, and then he couldn't afford to be on his own.

I also know my WAH is back watching porn, and it didn't help that last night I noted he watched it for almost 2 hours (til 3am.). I confronted him about it this morning, and he said he was watching it as he waited for something to finish with the other PC he's trying to upgrade to Windows XP, but which won't boot up out of safe mode. He was watching porn on his PC for hours each day before he moved out. I know I probably shouldn't have said anything, but I can't go back to that. So, right now, needless to say, I don't feel that good about our relationship. I need to feel like he wants to be with me, not just here with us. I also feel caught in a catch 22, as I need to tell him when something bothers me, yet I feel like this might be pushing him farther away from me also. He just told me to not turn this into a witch hunt, and left to check the car wash.

I'm thinking about asking him if he'll got to counseling with me or by himself for at least 6 months, but I almost positive he won't agree to this. I don't know if I should though. I just don't know what to do right now, I wonder sometimes if it's just paranoida on my part. Any comments or suggestions?