Been just about one month since my last post on this thread. Been lurking & putting some input in every now and then otherwise.
Just about given up on w ever coming around. Would be nice but not essential for me. Would be great for the kids. Guess I've had one too many kicks in the gut.
w's business partner, who knew what was going on early in this sit. has done the dirty on her. This is the woman who w has stated was her mother in a previous life when they both got burnt at the stake. D16 told me w was crying when w was telling mil about it. I know it is upsetting for w but I'm in no position to do any consoling.
W has been distant around me lately and I can feel a great barrier between us. We can't seem to be able to communicate any more, it all seems to me to be strained. I was happy to take her to Al anon meetings but given that w only seemed to talk in mono syllables was, and is not, much point in even trying. So I am not pushing her to go.
I recently have come to the conclusion that I have to let go of the person who was my wife totally. The person who was my wife is helping me in this process by inviting om into the family home to hang out and sleep over. My children don't like om much and I am inclined to agree with their perceptions of him in this regard.
Youngest d10 sent me an email yesterday telling me, amongst other things, she 'hated that M**k dude'. I had to answer her to tell her not to hate him, that she has to help mummy all she can and no mater what I am and alway will be her daddy.
I have been doing my best to not think about the sit. if I find myself dwelling on it I have to just remember to come back to the present. Lately I have been starting to get back into stuff I had just dropped when this sit. started. Am going to develop a website and learn computer animation plus whatever else I decide I want to do.
The 12 month separation required before being eligible to file for divorce comes up April 27th. Am tempted to go ahead and file myself as a way of getting some closure. W is not inclined to do any assets settlement and this would be a way to get the ball rolling. I know you all will say don't file if you don't want the d, that is what I think too. It is just what with the om staying over in the family home, in the marital bed mind you, kinds of seals it for me.
I won't be doing anything hastily but I've got to get this stuff out. Up to recently my going to see the kids was also an excuse to see w. Now I don't really want to see w. I want to see the kids but, and this is a major but, what if om is there? I really do not want to meet this person. Yesterday w was out and I was round the family home supposed to be taking kids out in the family van. Turns out w couldn't get back in time and had om in tow. I begged off taking the kids out as the festival would have been winding down when we got there. I took off before w and her friend turned up. Feels a bit cowardly but I don't want to be makeing a difficult situation worse.
What a life we all have people. Never a dull moment.
