DDC, I understand what you are going through. My XH and I got back together once. I think we made the mistake of running back too quickly. We went from not seeing each other for 3 months to trying to spend all our time together. While it felt good at the time, the fact that he is my XH shows that maybe it wasn't the best approach.
I guess if I had to do it again I would do things differently. I would acutally "date" my h. Granted it has been almost 10 years since I dated, but I think I remember something about doing something once a week... and then giving each other space the other days. Then as time goes on spending more time with each other, but still allowing for that alone time.
I think the fact that her Match.com profile is still down is a good thing. And I would not recommend putting yours back up. (While I totally understand where you are coming from and why you want to, but if you really want to make things work with her you need to not play "that game".) As someone said you are her "safe person" and being the safe person is hard you feel taken advantage of, but it is a role you need to decide if you really want it. Meaning if you want to work on your relationship with her then you need to be that safe person, if you don't then go out and live your life as you wish.
I only wish my situation was like yours. I would give anything to date my XH again. The chance of falling in love all over again and creating a better realtionship would be wonderful! I thought maybe we were getting there, but then he got scared and ran. So count your blessings that she is talking to you about the chance at that new relationship.
