Let me rephrase, I think I already knew a lot of the stuff in the book. It was a rehash of a lot of old ideas, some FOO stuff. I have a few books about this sort of thing, Fear of Intimacy, some others I can't remember the names of.... Nothing groundbreaking that I recall, nothing that really sets a sensitive person apart from others. That doesn't mean it won't be helpful to you, but I think it and the other books I have borrow ideas from codependency, family shame, narcissism, validation methods, this sort of thing. I don't mean to turn you off to the book. - Cobra on "The Highly Sensitive Person"
About the HSP concept, it's been a couple of years since I have read the book, "The Highly Sensitive Person" but I found it very interesting. Maybe I remember it incorrectly but this trait(high sensitivity) is not necessarily a FOO issue. Those of us, yes I have some significant HSP characteristics, who are HSPs are "hard-wired" with these traits - being highly sensitive to caffeine, light, noise, etc.
Dr. Aron explains that in the past HSPs have been called "shy," "timid," "inhibited," or "introverted," but these labels completely miss the nature of the trait. Thirty percent of HSPs are actually extraverts. HSPs only appear inhibited because they are so aware of all the possibilities in a situation. They pause before acting, reflecting on their past experiences. If these were mostly bad experiences, then yes, they will be truly shy. But in a culture that prefers confident, "bold" extraverts, it is harmful as well as mistaken to stigmatize all HSPs as shy when many are not.
I try to explain my HSP traits with these examples. 1)I am very sensitive to violent/scary movies. While "Pulp fiction" was a good movie, I walked out of the theatre with my heart pounding. I COULDN'T get the movie out of my head for weeks/months. It was too intense for me and therefore not pleasurable. My XH enjoyed the movie and the scenes left his mind almost immediately. For this example, is there anything "wrong" with me? Did someone or a situation "make" me sensitive? I don't think so. 2) I am very sensitive to colors, light, etc. and especially in nature. I can get what I can only guess feels like a "high" from being outdoors on a summer day with all the lush varying colors of greens from the grass and trees and bright sunshine. I have always assumed my lack of curiousity and need for drugs is because I don't NEED the sensitivity that drugs give to others. And my guess that those HSPs that do do drugs do it to DULL their sensitivity rather than enhance it as others do. 3) When I need to concentrate on finding my way around, parallel parking, etc., I HAVE to turn the radio off. 4) and finally, though I HATE to discuss this here, I cannot watch pornography because of the same reason for #1. It actually does nothing except turn me off because it is "too much." I don't have a problem AT ALL with others enjoying it and I don't have any issue or stigma with sex. IT's just that pornography is too graphic and stimulating and leaves me totally turned off. (So I can tell my partner, go ahead and watch it alone because you won't get the result you WANT if I watch along with you) No FOO issues for me just HSP issues.
I realize there has already been a discussion around HSPs but I found the statement nothing that really sets a sensitive person apart from others. problematic because it does not recognize that there IS a difference. I don't think there is a "problem" with HSPs and I don't think HSPs can CHANGE these traits. More they need to be aware of them and realize everyone doesn't feel the same way which is OK also.
MrsCAC4, if you have the book, The Highly Sensitive Person" wasn't there another test in the book besides the "Highly Sensitive" test?
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
