I don't even know what carving out a life means. If it means surviving without her then I guess I have it, but if it means being happy without her then no. I feel [like] my life's on hold...I'm subconciously waiting for her to come back so I can go do things like traveling etc.
I think MWHGC may have said it best...
Originally Posted By: MyWifeHasGoneCrazy
I don't know if you've seen it mentioned on other people's threads, but you have to basically start thinking of yourself as single and W as a friend or maybe as someone you are secretly attracted to.
No, you're not necessarily going to be happy all the time without her, but you should be able to be happy some of the time. If, by now, you don't find yourself laughing at something or smiling without trying, then you really need to get to work. There are things that might make you happy that you should, nevertheless, steer clear of while you're in this situation. Telling her how you really feel, engaging in pursuing behaviors, dating or becoming emotionally involved with another woman, and...of course...becoming physically involved with someone else.
However, beyond these things, it's time to take the rest of your life off hold. If you two were planning on taking a vacation to Cancun, you might want to skip doing that by yourself, but take a different trip instead. Always wanted to see the world-class San Diego zoo? Then go. Wondered what it would be like to walk the Capitol mall in D.C.? Go do it. Find something you'd like to learn how to do and throw yourself into it. Cabinetry, small engine repair, DIY home improvement, landscaping (plants, water features, etc.), stamp collecting, you name it. But take some time to do something interesting that improves you (such as giving you a new skill or new knowledge).
If learning doesn't float your boat, try giving something back. Find a charitable organization that needs your skills or, perhaps, just a warm body or strong hands. Then spend some time helping someone else. As my grandmother used to say, when you help someone else worse off than you, you either forget your problems or you put them into perspective.
As I've said elsewhere, the issue isn't whether or not you will be able to detach. Chances are you will at some point. The question is whether you will do it sooner when it might still help you and at your choice or if you will do it later when it will have little effect and at your WAW's choice.
Don't get depressed because you go do something and just don't seem to have the heart to. You won't...at least not for a while. When you choose to do or learn something new, set yourself a minimum. Promise yourself to go at least X number of times...and then do it. Make yourself if you have to. I'll bet that after a few times, you'll notice that it's not so bad. The key is time.
