He is leaving to be alone to THINK - now what?

[ourcrisis]

HB, it's funny how your h is like mine.
IF (that's a BIG IF) h is telling the truth, he is moving out so he can finish with her, "with my convoluted plan.". Up to the time I broke contact, he has been really nice to me, AND trying to hide all his outings with OW (which i hope to take it as THEIR way of protecting the wife???) Unfortunately, I think OW (at least the way h painted her) is quite intelligent and not pressuring, smart like me (ha ha), h told me she is reading a lot too so I am sure she knows how to play the game also. NOT GOOD FOR ME. I am so afraid that she will manipulate him into leaving me for good.

HB, it is so great to hear from you. You keep reminding me to take baby steps and I am trying to follow. SO HARD!!! It is great to know about your details because it gives me some hope that h may be doing what he is telling me. I hope you don't mind me always coming to you for advice because I think your situation is just weeks ahead of mine so I am following your thread closely for ideas.

lonelyolive, thank you for thinking about me. I needed that, especially this week. I have been feeling TERRIBLE. And in a sense, this is worse than when I first found out about the A, because looking back, I understand it was just mostly crazy emotions. Now the feelings come from deep inside and it is rational. Don't know if this makes sense. The moving out really hits me HARD. I cry everyday. I am again eating very little, which I guess helps in maintaining my current weight, ha ha, since I cannot bring myself to exercise. At times, I keep thinking about OW in his apt, which we all know how that feels. I am for sure tossing that blanket that he brought IF he comes back.

H is taking the kids this weekend for an out of town trip (since they cannot see his apt). I will have some time alone, I deparately need some exercise to lift my mood up so that's the plan. Many of my friends just happen to be busy this past week so it is not helping in my situation at all (which is also why I am always here and posting).

Yesterday, for the first time, I asked S8 "if you have to choose, who do you want to live with, mommy or daddy?" "Do I have to choose?" "No, you don't, you can asnwer both." "Then both". Later S8 told me daddy asked him that question a few times already (but he forgot when). I will have to tell h today not to ask those questions anymore. A bad move from both of us to ask anyway.