Happiness, is it even possible.

[heatherg]

Cemar,
Are you going to answer my question about whether or not there is anything in your marriage that you like, anything you can build on? It seems to me that you choose what you write and what you choose to respond to so that you keep the topic in a place where you can continue to focus on your unhappiness and how it relates to what your wife will or will not do.

Assuming that Cemar isn't a troll, then one must conclude that his habit of making wild statements then waiting on others to correct them, when used as a method of learning, is most inefficient.

We've all wondered, but then it seems that the cycle continues anyway.

Let me see if I understand this...Since I am the one that wants FAR more from the relationship, it is I who have the problem to address. So I should force the issue, to work with the wife to solve the issue, and if we can not work togeter on this issue, then I (the one with the problem), should take the risk and divorce her and find someone that DOES want a more physical life.

From my point of view, yes. Or adjust your expectations accordingly. I understand that you do not subscribe to the idea of divorce. None of us do or we wouldn't be here. That is our choice, because divorce certainly IS an option. So, if you CHOOSE to remain married because your views/ethics on marriage override your desire for an active sex life, then it is what it is. This is YOUR life Cemar, your years here are numbered and precious. You get to decide how to spend them and your wife gets to decide how to spend hers. You can wallow in self pity for the rest of your life because you can't control how your wife chooses to spend her years or you can start living your years to the fullest.

You act like someone has put you in this horrendous position in life and you have no choices. You do have choices Cemar, some are difficult, but that's life. Life is like a box of chocolates pal.