Sometimes I don't think they do it on purpose, they just do it because they can control it. They feel like they are losing themselves when they have to tell us everything. My H just won't, period, show me his Visa bill. I know it possibly contains things I don't want to see anyway so why would I want to upset myself. The main thing is he is trying, and I have to believe that. I also have to believe that one day the Visa won't mean anything to him OR to me.

He is getting better, telling me what came in the mail each day (which he never did) so he is coming around with the secrecy issue but I know it is about his lack of trust and his fear of losing control that is doing it, not that he doesn't love me or that he is purposely wanting to hide things from me.

Perhaps you need to look at the positives and stop dwelling on the one little thing that might not have any meaning at all other than he wants some space.

Heywyre

M - 57
H - 65
1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02
2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06
together 21 years
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Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)