Ok I couldn't leave well enough alone so I had to have an OR talk last nite.
It all started Mon nite when I sent her a text saying "I had a rough day at work, but when I thought of your beautiful smile it make the day a lot better" Her reply was "Ur so sweet 2 me. sorry you had a bad day.
I decided to push the envelope and send another text saying " How do you feel about us getting together one nite this week" Her reply was "sounds good, maybe tomoro.
Well Tues came and she had to take D10 to the Dr. at nite for a sinus infection and I guess she was tired so she sent this text "Can we get together a diff nite" I replied "sure"
Weds comes and she called me about my D blood work, her Dr wants her to see a spec. about her high cholesterol. I asked if we are doing anything tonite and she said she doesn't know she will she how it goes (meaning how late my D goes to bed)
She calls me at 9:15p telling me my D is still awake and probably not a good nite. Ok so this is where the fun starts.
She has sounded very distant since Sunday, after having so much fun the previous 3 days. So I asked her if something is bothering her, she says no. Did I do soemthing to piss you off? Nothing is bothering me you are reading too much into things.
So her comes the OR talk. She says she is very confused about things and how fast they are moving. She doesn't know what to do. She told me she had broken up with a bf back in early Feb and the next thing she knows her I am back in her life. She is very hesitant on all of this because we are D. I told her that is only a piece of paper which means nothing.
I begin by telling her she is under no pressure from me to make a decision now, I know she needs time. I have stood by your side loving you uncondtionaly for 3 years because I believe in you. I don't expect you to have the same feeling as I do because of all the hurt and pain I put you through. I told her love is an action if she would do loving things love can be restored. She has a copy of "Fall in love, stay in love" which I gave her last month, she agreed to read that for some answers. I told as long as you have lingering doubts about me you have feelings that need to be addressed. Until you can be certain 100% you do not want to be with me you will have regrets your whole life wondering what could have been. We agreed to not date anyone, she can have as much time as possible to sort things out. No pressure, lets just enjoy each other's company and see what happens. I did ask her what was about me that was attractive to her when we where married. She ran down a list and said you are all of that now and have now become a great father. She still is physcially attracted to me which made me feel good.
So I know this was the wrong move but all in all I think the convo went well.
I sent my exW a cute package with a balloon and card inviing her to a nite out in a couple of weeks.
She called and thanked me for such a wonderful surprise. I asked if that ment she was accepting the invite, she said yes but what she needs to tell me might make me change my mind
She tells me that I am not on the same page as her, she wants to date other people and that includes seeing me. She feels pressure that she can not give me what I need in an exclusive relationship. She knows how wonderful I am and knows she might be making a big mistake but she just has to be sure she is doing the right thing. I told her she needs to do what makes her comfortable and if I agree to dating her in this manner I don't know how I will feel if she does want to work on things.
What do I do???
My C says to continue doing like I have been but stop smothering her. I am not sure what I am doing that would make her feel that way, but her says to ask her and find out. He also feels she may not date and this is her way of releasing pressure.
My gut says to date her because I truly feel she will not find anybody better, but then there is part of me that feels like I being used.
