DB Coaching any good?

[sparky357]

I've had two sessons with a DB coach and I'm going to have some more. Right now it is quite helpful to have someone coach me through the Dbing process. When I explain different situations they really help me put a positive outlook on things. They also remind me that this is a two steps forward one step back process and that even if I do see a small baby step forward not to be devastated when the "alien" begins to speak. My sitch is a bit strange. W filed for the D but we still live together. Still sleep together. Still kiss eachother good night and goodbye in the morning yet when it comes to the financial issues of the D she gets real defensive and acts like she wants it all on the fast track. It is extrememly confusing. The DB coach help me put all of that into context. It could very well be that my W is feeling a bit ambivalent. She wants to "present as a couple" when we are out. She still wears her wedding rings. We are communicating better than we have in years. There are moments when she is still affectionate. She is going to alanon meetings. She is very appreciative of all the things I do around the house and communicates that to me. That's a lot of positives when you think about it. Then again I have those moments where she feels she has to reiterate her battle plan. "It's over", "I want to move back home and get on with my life" "I don't ever want to have sex with you again" "I'm not just going to wake up one day and pick up where we left off" yada yada yada. I think there is actually a thread posted of al of the things are WAS say in the heat of battle. I just have to keep up with the program and if she is able to see her role in our problems and find a sincere desire to work on them then we will. But like someone else said, if they don't want to accept any responsibilty and have no desire to work on things then you're pretty much toast. All we can do is work on us. The DB coaches will help you do that and they know what they are doing. Unlike some of the clinical types , who see divorce as a viable option.
DB coaches want to save marriages, that's very apparent from the first time you speak to them.

Peace,
Sparky