Cheese that I'm looking for but can't find:
1) H accepting responsibility for his half of the marriage
2) H telling me that he is committed to doing whatever it takes to try to fix the problems.

Way too broad terms folks!

Me coming from a POV of what do these things look like? After all I come from Mars, so explain how I could measure your H taking responsibility for his half of the M?

Is it bringing home Meat Lovers pizza from Dominos on Tuesday? If he brought home a Veggie Lovers pizza, then he only half loves you???

On #2, name one thing that would be measurable by an outside observer, that would indicate cac4 doing something “committed.” He did give you specific instructions about backing up the files to the company computer one or more times.

Me being Mr. Cac4;
Hay sweetie, I will commit to the M, but first backup that financial stuff to my company account.

but it's looking like ALL of the tunnels are cheeseless
So, describe what a chees-filled tunnel might look like to you so I can understand what to do. It's good practice, OK?

he just says that he's an @sshole and that's the way it is. This is not helpful.
Not good cac4. You might feel like an @sshole sometimes. Wouldn’t you rather feel like you are doing some things right but getting less than anticipated results?

I've asked him several times to read Michele's book again, but he hasn't.
I liked "Divorce Remedy" my #1 simple book.

How about you both read one chapter and work with that one chapter. Agree ahead of time that each chapter isn't the be all, tell all for the M.

Harley's "His Needs, Her Needs" is easier to understand, but to me states all men have the same needs as other men, all women have the same needs as other women, which is a little too simplistic.

If you want an outline form to work with, go to this page of http://www.MarriageBuilders.com and print out the Questionnaires listed on the left side of the page. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4500_resource.html

(copied from the site0
Marriage Builders® Forms and Questionnaires
In the left-hand column, you will find free resources currently available for you to use to strengthen your marriage. Use them only after you have read Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts, and have created a plan of reconciliation based on those concepts.

I have the MWD audio CD’s “Keep Love Alive” and another poster has some video tapes. They are well worth a try.

There are several MP3 sites that I or someone else can list if you think you will have the time to listen to a broad group of relationship subjects.

What your opinino?

Lou

Last edited by DIY; 03/29/07 10:46 PM.