NJ, I think I have made the first move, a few times. It doesn't seem to make a difference in his attitude.
Example: yesterday H writes that he might like sex 2 or 3 times a week and would like to describe our SL as "frequent, varied and enthusiastic."
So last night I tell him I saw his post to MrsNOP. I was thinking that last week we had sex 3 times. (Last week was also a week where I was feeling loved and adored.) At least 2 of those encounters included BJs (which hasn't been my favorite thing, admittedly). I think I've been more enthusiastic about different positions, and not just last week, but over the last couple of months. So I ask him if last week was any closer to his description to MrsNOP, and he says "not really."
I'm not asking him to lie. But I told him it would be nice if he acknowledged my efforts. But that's a prickly word because he and Cemar and a few others bristle at the thought of their W's making an effort to have sex. I remind him that his goal won't come over night and he says, "oh, I know."
When I'm actually doing the BJ he seems to think it's fabulous, and I think has even used those words. How does he get from "fabulous" to "not really any better?" This doesn't make sense to me.
This conversation deflated my sails. It makes me worry that I will never meet his standards. That's not a very positive feeling.
