having your WELL STATED needs remain unmet, is not blackmail.

I personally agree with you NOP. It’s more I don't like radical choices. But who does?

I don't know why CeMar's insisting on several points he said he wants in a soul mate type M, like his W swallowing before he feels he is desired.

My mother ate and loved raw oysters, so if I was her real son, I should too? No way.

I read MoJo's post about GGG "good", "giving" and "game".I'm going to weigh in as the semi-contrarian here in Cemar-land. post 991710 from yesterday It made a lot of sense and seemed the practical thing to do.

Be careful not to confuse negotiation with blackmail.
Nop, it just feels like blackmail when the choices get to the extreme level.

BB points out her age, her lack of hormones, her long lack of desire, her belief that most women want to give up sex and are relieved when their H loses interest in sex or has ED. BB has some beliefs that are similar to Ms. HD; sex is mostly for a man’s pleasure/lust need.

Add in, for women w/o hormones sex becomes more of an uncomfortable chore rather than something pleasurable.

BB most common deflection is similat to the following, “Petting the dog is as soothing, no one gets any UTIs, and it less messy.” IOW, BB sort of wants note from the Dr. no sex unless it an emergency.

Of course BB likes to be sought after, chased, and caught, just not pinned down put in a position of having sex more than a couple times a year.

I won't speculate about Mrs. Choc, Mrs. CeMar, or anyone else. BB wants me, but in limiter ways and in limited amounts.

Sometimes I get the idea, one day BB will bring home that Dr’s slip, excusing her from sex. So that is my fear that is growing right now.

Two years ago, I was hoping a change in attitude/behavior would improve our SL. I know if this was 10 years ago, attitude/behavior, was the problem. Now I wonder how much is age/medical, that is why sometimes I think along the lines of what is blackmail and what is negoating.

I am reading "Wild at Heart" and "The Man in the Mirror". I see connections between me lacking self-confidence in FOO situations that influenced some of the things I did once M, lacking some experiences in life, being successful in many years of life then taking hits that undermined my confidence and strained our M life. Like LFL and others here are pushing, behavior changes that solve problems are what is to be sought out.

I see many places where many couples like us would have D. I see the strength’s where we had help, that kept us together. Where we kept us together by just working through day to day hardships.

In some ways I see BB acting like she did the work and now it's time to get what she wants and I see myself thinking I did all this work and this is all the (not much) fun I can have? If I want more I have to put OP through the wringer and think; Why?