That would be great. I need to get back into spending time with him AND his friends. I think that will help things. A cook out would be awesome. Just let me know. You can come over or we can come over.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Thanks Stubborn. Things seemed dismall for such a long time. I know that I have not been at this as long as some other vets on these boards. But I can say it has been a hard battle. The battle is not even close to being over. He has to fight the urge to contact the 'whack job'. But he has done well for the past few days.
It was at the point when I was done when things began turning around. This is a complete shock because the day before he came home, he was still saying D because he just couldn't forgive himself. He didn't want a D but thought that it was the best thing.
Just keep praying for us. We have such a long way to go. It is almost like we are dating again. No real touching or intimacy. Don't want to rush into anything. Also, I think he is still testing the waters to see if the changes I have made are real.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Well, everyone...sorry to disappoint but I won't be moving over to piecing after all. After a long discussion last night, I ended up asking H to pack his things and leave. He is still very much in love with the OW and doesn't think it is fair to try to work on us when all he can do is think about her. I can't be second best and I won't be. He said that he loves me but is not in love with me. He doesn't know that he could ever say that he will be or will ever be able to touch me like I deserve to be touched.
I also found out that after 4 or 5 days of no contact with her, that he charged the phone that she gave him and he had it in his pocket charged and on......I can't be the victim again. I have to stop it before it starts.
This is not what I wanted at all but I can't and won't be in a loveless marriage. I know that he doesn't want this either because we both spent alot of time last night crying. I had told him when I came home from Las Vegas on Saturday that if he did this to me again, then I was going to head straight to court. I have to keep that promise and move forward. So let's just say that I am not doing very well right now.
I know that there are probably so many people that just want to smack me upside the head right now for giving up so soon, but honestly, I can't be cheated on again and that is exactly where it was headed.
So, instead of moving to piecing, I will be moving to the divorced forum.....
I hope you all have a good day...not sure how much I will be posting on here for a while but I will definitely be reading any comments.
Last edited by not_giving_up; 03/29/0708:02 PM.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Thanks UA...i really could use all the hugs I can get! Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
NGU, FYI, If you read a lot of the threads around here about R suffering from affair, you will noticed that when the WAS starts to come back they seem to have relapses. Almost like a drug addict or speaking from expirience an Alcholic. They fall off the wagon and then evetual decide that it is best if they just quit the drug all together. Sorry to here that he did that. I still have not talked to him for more than 5 minutes so I have now idea how he feels other than lost. If he did not feel lost he would not have come home even for that short period of time.
When did he come home and when did he leave?
Also if you have noticed I do not have a thread anymore and probably wont for some time due to a little issue of immaturaty on a certain person part but I will still be lurking and checking in on ya. You also have me e-mail address if you need anything. I will be out of town on business this weekend but Will have my laptop obviously so hit me up if you need anything. I will also have my cell if you need to chat.
Again sorry for what has happened.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
