I signed all of the D papers last night - exactly one year from the BOMB....
Can you believe it has been a year? I didn't find this place until May but it still seems like yesterday....
I had a tough night - in some ways, a great pressure was lifted and the dark cloud of this D that I have been traveling too was coming to an end. I can see the sun again - and it is a good thing. But I asked God to forgive me for wanting the D now. Why? I fought so hard to save my M - when all the while I learned I had egg on my face. She never intented to stay. The only reason it took as long as it did was because she wanted to wait for her legal benefits to kick in Aug 1. She saw a L a week later.
Funny thing though....Due to the L issues when I was served and my L tried to send her L papers, her L threatened to charge Jill because it was "contested" if a L contacts her, blah blah blah... Anyways, due to these issues, I sent in the paperwork myself to Jill's L. Well all I did was send it in saying that I recieved it. I never filed the response to her D claims ever. So I didn't have to provide an agreement to "There has been a breakdown of the M that is not repairable." Now while I do believe at this point that it is not repairable - because it is not - she has done too much and I need to be out of this with her. But I didn't have to agree to it or anything! Kind of fitting I guess. Technically, I could be found in default (Jill can take anything if I default), but my L said he will take care of it if I am and it is no big deal. Jill and I signed all the papers yesterday, now we just wait for the court date....
Jill said "Thank you for doing all this paperwork" since I pretty much did her L job of writing the agreement. My only response "It had to be done....".
Feeling like I am free today. I know it is not final yet, but my home is mine now. I will make it what I want. I will live my life everyday like there is no tomorrow. A year of darkness has ended for me. And while there have been periods of light throughout the last year in terms of my own life, my children, and some new people that have come into my life - the last few months regarding the D have been stressful and dark.....
I am going into the sunshine now. I will do everything I can to stay there.
