Happiness, is it even possible.

[fearless]

Choc,

First, Thank you for responding.

1) and I -- like CeMar -- do feel a need in my emotional make-up for the affection of my wife. There is nothing wrong with that. My confusion is that I have not written that it is a problem to want affection from your wife.

2) Compromise was the response to GELs post. I haven't written about compromise and I don't even want to go down that road yet. I have enough ideas in the air as it is.


I thought two of CeMar's basic concepts were reasonable

Not to be nitpicky but those aren't concepts they are wants and YES they are reasonable wants and especially in a marriage. No one is arguing that point with him and yet he keeps going back to that argument.

Cobra stated it much clearer than I have and I think it is important enough to re-state:

Do you realize that your focus is on where you want your M to go, the objective, which is fine. But the posters here, including myself, then give suggestions on how to get there, IOW, the process. You then come back to say, yeah, but I want this objective. They say, here is a way to get there. You say, but I want this objective... and so on.

Our "concept" is that to get the objective/need of sex and desire from your wives, you need to do x,y, and z first. Again, as I stated before, there is no guarantee that if you do x,y, and z you will get exactly what you want but you will get your self-esteem and confidence back which is a nice side benefit, huh? HOWEVER I can guarantee if you do NOT do x,y, and z, you won't get it (sex and desire, that is)!

So now that's the pickle isn't it? To actually do some work with no guarantee of the end result on the marriage. Much easier and safer to throw the responsibility on your wives, isn't it?