Poster: NOPkins Subject: Re: Happiness, is it even possible.
Fearless wrote to Choc: -------------------------------------------------------- Can you explain why you thought Cemar's response to me was reasonable? --------------------------------------------------------
Because both believe that their wives have the answer to their respective problems.
-NOPkins-
NOP,
I'll give you a pass (sorry to use the word "pass" when dealing with the Mother of All Kidney Stones) and assume that you didn't mean to allow me to answer for myself.
Fearless, I thought two of CeMar's basic concepts were reasonable, at least to me:
1) That what self-help books and do-it-yourself physchologists like to call "validation", to some of us just seems more like "they love us." As someone said earlier today, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar," and I -- like CeMar -- do feel a need in my emotional make-up for the affection of my wife. I'm sorry, I just do -- that's why I married her.
2) That some sexual issues are unable to be compromised away. If a man has a desire to make love to his wife 5x/week, and his wife prefers 1x/week, then sure, "3x/week" would seem to be a reasonable compromise. But if a man has a desire to receive passionate kisses from his wife, and his wife prefers not to kiss at all, then what is the compromise position? The LD person controls the sex/affection dynamic.
NOP, I do not believe my wife has the answer to my problems. I do believe that I am not "whole", at least not as whole as I intentionally sought for myself by choosing to marry her, when I do not receive regular sex, touch and affection from my wife.
