Still Tryin's new thread

[S.T. _I Made It!]

thank you too Nikki, and your welcome. I do want to be happy. I'm definitely happier than before, but not where I want to be for sure.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe things happened too fast for me, that it didn't force me, like it has so much you, to really work on myself. With kids it's just sooo hard. They really need to come first, but I know I have to put myself up there too.

I actually wrote out a perfect H list a long time ago. When I thought that H was never going to come back to me. It actually made me feel better making that list and having faith that God was going to give me that person, well, someone close anyways. I guess I can't expect everything to just be perfect. It's just hard when you can't express your religious feelings without feeling like your going to offend your H, or make him feel uncomfortable. Religion is a big part of my life, and it's NO part of his, so there's always going to be a gap in our R.

I never spent $500, but I did pay the 300-400 for the DB counselling. I still have one session left to use, they said it never expires, so that's cool. H doesn't know I did that either, but it definitey helped me talk thru my problem with someone with education and from her site especially. I did feel that he was "going by the book" a lot, but it was still worth it I think.