So what would a marriage counsellor do? I don't want my wife doing something she does not want to, but I also believe that my expectation of head (with swallow) is a legitimat position. And it seems clear that plenty of women on her enjoy doing it.

Legitimat position? What about a want that most likely will not be fulfilled?

On Mojo's list, I have gotten the 11)Hand part, minus the cheek. So maybe I shouldn't have M BB? Well, the regular sex was great at one time.

1)60 but no 9.
2)Double teabag
3)Thumb suck
4)Nipple/Cock/Nipple/Cock
5)Ice Job
6)Standard Slow/fast/Stop/start
7)Prostate massage
8)Full Out Scary Swallow
9)Just the tip with hand swirl
10)Where is my mouth?
11)Hand to cheek