BB: I'm not sure I can even handle seeing her name any more...
It is always sad when an imagined hypothetical "in theory possible" relationship is ruined forever...
Geez, just in the past 10 minutes she's already found 2 guys up for it.
LOL- OTOH, I'm kind of surprised to still be on the "list" of anyone one this BB after revealing #3 on my list of masturbatory fantasies and #7 on my list of BJ techniques.
OTOH, I think it's totally lame that you wouldn't be into "snowballing" (I know there's a better, more appealing sounding French name for it) and yet you would still probably expect me to be into all your kinky-*ss dungeon stuff. Whatever.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Sex itself is not intimacy. You always have to look at the context of the act.
I agree 100%. I have said this before, sex is not the goal. It is the WHY of sex that matters. It's almost exclusively about the frame of MIND while doing the act.
Lets use the head example here. She could give me head because I ASK her to, or she could surprise me and do it because she WANTS to do me. The latter will make HUGE deposits in the love bank, whle the first will not. Sex is an incredible MIND game. It is not really about the orgasam, it is about WHY you do it. This is why I always come back to desire. You have to make the other person feel like you WANT to give them ??? rather then I do ??? to keep you happy. And it is easy to distinguish between the two. Body language will give you away.
As for companionship, I believe that a lot of women would be happy to spend the rest of their lives at that level, but I believe that most men would NOT.
Cemar,
Dude, if you think that is true, you are OBLIVIOUS to one of the biggest complaints women have about their H's. They truly believe their husbands just see them as companions and even if there is sex they think their husbands view it more as sex of convenience and NOT because their husband truly DESIRES them.
And listen as far as discussing things in terms about what MOST men or MOST women do, is it really relevant? Does it make you feel like you have more power over your wife because what you are asking for isn't just for YOU it is what MOST men want?
And furthermore you IGNORED the question about you wife's FEELINGS again. So I will repeat it with your words. What if she is saying to her friends "later we find out they don't really want to be soulmates, they just want to be companions and to have sex."
If you cannot answer that question about your wife with ANY COMPASSION, trust me you have little chance of getting what you want.
If I sound fired up, it is because I am. Not because I am "mad" at you Cemar but because I think you are your biggest hurdle here. I won't even claim that things will ABSOLUTELY change with your wife if you change. What I can claim is that if YOU don't figure yourself out, even if you divorce and look for another woman, you'll end up in the exact same place you are now. I HOPE that is enough to scare you into listening to everyone here that is trying to HELP you.
Last edited by fearless; 03/29/0703:27 PM.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
It's almost exclusively about the frame of MIND while doing the act.
I get your point. You don't want your W to do it because you ask but because she WANTs to. Well, that is a tough one Cemar. Not something you can control. Only she can decide that for herself. BJ's are not my favorite thing in the world, but I do them sometimes just for novelty to put something else in the bag of tricks, and sometimes because it is just great to see a man experience that pleasure. But if I was having no attraction to that man, BJ's would be one of the last things on my list. Hmmm...maybe you can rate the degree of happiness in a M by number of blowjobs. One or more a month - very happy. 2-5 a year - could be trouble in paradise. none - dead on arrival.
Oh, and btw...you other guys are placaters. So there.
I think you are just deflecting from your FOO issue of not being able to handle your male sexuality... So did your father not think you were masculine enough? let's dig!!
Last edited by fearless; 03/29/0703:34 PM.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
