Making the leap - Hopefully wount Jinx it!

[limbo]

So I just sent H an email saying that we need to talk, I know its not the right DB technique but we need to get the air cleared, or the end done, which ever it ends up being.
I just can't keep the pretending up, like everything is peachy keen, when all I feel is that my heart is being ripped out.
That the man who i pledged my life to, who says they love me and want to make it work, can continue to lie and hurt, how can I build a marriage that is based on that.
I think that I have realized something that we have changed, I have changed, and not so much him. And I can see how past behaviour was wrong, and immature and selfish.
But he can't see that, and to be honest I don't know if he ever will see it, and unless we can end up on the same page, I know that he can't be there yet, but it would be nice to see little changes, alittle something instead of spending all of his time on myspace and then lieing to be about it! If its not a big deal then why can't he tell me! what is it he is hiding by going on there!
I know what you are all sick and tired of me, but I just can't seemed to find my way around this! I have tired, but its like this dark hole in my stomach that just wount go away!