I was reading this book called "Why can't you read my mind?" and it has excellent advice on dealing with toxic thoughts, in short, the author asks you to have mindfulness-- be aware that you are having toxic thoughts, realize that the thoughts are negative and counter-productive. Then, have an alternative to the thoughts you area having, replace them with good thoughts about you two, and finally practice- over and over. In time, the cycle will be faster next time a toxic thoughts comes up and you'll be able to purge them.

It took me months to calm down, I understand how you feel \:\) , but know that it wont be like this forever, that your M can get better.

Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.