Seems lately there is so much bad news on this board!! It is so upsetting!! I will post my L results later...boy do I feel sick!! I wonder if H did this with no emotion! According to his complaint, I don't think he cares at all!
Mom, He definitely did not do this with no emotion however it is not a matter of whether he cares or not. He does not have the capacity within that teeny tiny MLC brain to think outside of himself right now.
I'm sure it was emotional for him, but he is not going to show you that. MLCers are exploding with emotions...I think that's the problem, they don't know how to sort everything out.
What a pr!ck. Some courtesy is all you're asking for. I've been debating whether or not to ask my husband to warn me when I should expect papers, but since there has been no talk of D, I thought I'd better just leave it as is.
I read somewhere something about all the demands they make in the D papers. Not to defend your H, but just keep in mind that it's all through a lawyer, whose JOB it is to get the most for his client, not to be nice to you or to act as a MC. I'm sure your L will do the same for you. If you can in your state, see if you can get a mediator to handle the situation rather than going to court. Really don't know too much in this area as I've only just started to research. How you both handle the D will really determine how your girls are affected by this in life. I've been reading the book "The Legacy of Divorce" - obviously I don't want a D, but if it happens, I'm using the book to learn what NOT to do, so my kids are the least affected by this devastating event as possible. Read it if you can.
Stay strong.
M: 33 MLC/WAH: 33 M 6 yrs, together 12 2 kids: 5,2 Bomb #1: 4/06 - "I don't love you anymore", almost S Bomb #2: 7/06 - EA/PA since late 05, kicked H out/S Bomb #3: 1/07 - "No longer have any feelings for you. It's over.", living w/OW, no talk of D
Just checking in to see how it went with the L. IMO, it is really helpful to have a L that you like and trust, as well as respect. Hopefully he/she was able to put your mind at rest about some of the details.
I read that H was taking things out of the house, are you able to change the locks?
I've been reading the book "The Legacy of Divorce"
Sorry - the book is actually called "The UNEXPECTED Legacy of Divorce - the 25 year landmark study" by Judith Wallerstein, Julia M. Lewis and Sandra Blakeslee. On the back cover it says: "here is a book that every divorcing parent must read, and that no child of divorce should be without. An absolute must-read."
Personally, I think it's a great book for telling you what NOT to do through the divorce process to save your kids unnecessary trauma...
M: 33 MLC/WAH: 33 M 6 yrs, together 12 2 kids: 5,2 Bomb #1: 4/06 - "I don't love you anymore", almost S Bomb #2: 7/06 - EA/PA since late 05, kicked H out/S Bomb #3: 1/07 - "No longer have any feelings for you. It's over.", living w/OW, no talk of D
Hi all, Mrs I posted on your thread. meeting with L was nerve racking to say the least!! We countered the offer...took forever b/c I contested everything! My L thinks I should talk to H and ask him why he is asking for everything and being cruel... Heres tonights dilemma...if I am being a doormat tell me... H emailed today and said he "may" have to work Sat and if I could keep girls... I emailed back saying I had an appt on Sat morning. I then asked him where SS's were and to let SS14 babysit. I told him all the kids could come to the house while he is at work and when I needed to leave SS14 could be incharge. Am I being too nice?? I looked at it like SS14 is ok to babysit for a little while but not 5-6 hours. I will have them here and I will be gone for about an hour. I hope I am not being a doormat to H...after all the sh!t he has put me through lately I am still nice and accommadating... Did I do the wrong thing?? basically I will be in charge of SS's also! UGH...I hate second guessing myself
I don't think you were being a doormat. You were doing what was best for all concerned. Don't second guess yourself. If it was a friend of your H isn't this what you would do.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Actually, I would have ask him to stick to the visitation agreement. You have a right to schedule appointments when you expect him to be with the girls. That is his problem. What would he do to you? He will not be in any mood to return the favor someday. Stick to boundaries. They will not like it and spew, but they will find something else to spew about if there is no good cause. He needs to get a taste of how a divorce looks.
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
My H does that to me a lot too - always waits for me to drop kids off, cancels last minute, and wants to take S4 last minute. It bothers me, but I think about whether or not it's a big deal and choose my battles. I think if you're capable of being nice, then do it - but don't go out of your way to do it.
I decided that for now i feel better and safer on this site remaining somewhat anonymous. I'm sorry for offering my email address prematurely. Hope that we can continue to support each other and post on each other's threads. It's really been helping me cope... You can always send me a PM if you want to vent uncensored! Thanks so much for your understanding. still hoping
M: 33 MLC/WAH: 33 M 6 yrs, together 12 2 kids: 5,2 Bomb #1: 4/06 - "I don't love you anymore", almost S Bomb #2: 7/06 - EA/PA since late 05, kicked H out/S Bomb #3: 1/07 - "No longer have any feelings for you. It's over.", living w/OW, no talk of D
