I don't know. We wen't to counseling briefly, 4 sessions. They were somewhat helpful, but on the 4th session, the counselor basically said to my wife 'you have to make a decision on whether you want to work on the marriage or not', and that without that his counseling wouldn't help as he didn't want to talk about the past, and instead focus on how our future can be better together.
She had basically said that she understood the steps for improving our intimacy/communication that the counselor was laying out, but she wasn't feeling passion for me - and she feels that the passion should just be there. That was our last session. She didn't feel like working on the marriage at this time if she wasn't feeling that for me. I don't believe that. I feel that the two go hand in hand - A healthy relationship feeds passion, and a healthy dose of passion helps the relationship weather rough patches.
Part of me feels like its time to have a discussion about our relationship again with her. I feel that she looks at me as more pathetic for letting her walk all over me, and that because i'll stay in this relationship even though it's not a happy one she thinks less of me.
I sometimes think that I should sit her down and let her know that I am not happy with this relationship either, and I want a new relationship as well - but I want it WITH HER. If that is something she wants, maybe counseling would again be an option. I guess i'm just afraid that she may say she doesn't want it with me, so since i'm not ready to take that as an option maybe i'm not ready for that discussion yet? Some days i feel like I'm ready for that, but then I think about my children and I get the strength to go on as normal.
Right now tt least we spend time together now, and I have the chance to show her what i'm made of, maybe given the right circumstances a spark or two can relight the fire?
