Yes, I do snoop (I think I could have been a P.I. with all my experience) and you are right it does me more harm then good, but I just like to know when he is lying to me because I hate feeling like a fool. But, actually, that feeling never goes away and it won't until he STOPS CHEATING or I kick him out again, will be the third time, can't do that again, though.
He still calls OW "My friend, we are so tight now he says, I just can't lose this friend, now, she has done so much for me". What a bunch of BS. And I told him the other day, she is more than a friend it is beyond friends and she is no friend of our marriage - I said she is your affair the Other women, you are cheating. I wanted him to hear those true words. And Hah! like what, help you lose your job and almost your whole family! I still cannot comprehend his thinking?!
I try to stick up for myself. And just recently I have been trying not to let this consume me and do things that make me happy, though. My children are having a hard time with this, because I have always only done for them and now that I wan't to start going out and having fun, they think it is something so terrible. I need to do some more of what they call GAL and PMAing I think.
