Happiness, is it even possible.

[MJontheMend]

Cemar, I'm going to cut you some slack and assume that you are trying to say something valid with your BJ=intimacy comment. My initial response to your comment was to think "I love giving head but if I was with a man who said 'I only feel truly intimate with you when you are giving head' I'd be like WTF?". But.....here is a quote from Lou Paget's (she's a girl) "How to be a Great Lover"

Most importantly, I feel, oral sex is the greatest gift of intimacy a woman can bestow upon a man. Between the touch, the sight, and the sound of oral sex, it's a sensory overload. Many men have said it's like being in their own erotic film, only it isn't an act and they're starring with the women they love. And finally, they are able to reach orgasm without having to physically work at it. For that reason, your giving them oral sex is truly a gift bestowed."

So, on some level, the experts agree with you. Paget also makes the clear point that women who like to give head are in charge of the endeavor. Nobody likes being f*cked in the mouth. I will give you credit for not wanting this either. What I think you want is to experience the vulnerability of being "done" as opposed to "doing" someone and I think that is a completely valid need. The feeling of vulnerability that goes along with getting head makes you feel better able to be intimate and that makes sense. I've done eyes open orgasm during sex and I've done eyes open watch a man orgasm during head and there is a definite subjective difference in the vibe. It's okay that you want this.