Preparing for the end game, maybe.

[LoginName]

Thanks J-
Your input is always deeply appreciated. You raise some really good points; mainly the kids.

The kids are doing so well it's scary. They aren't acting out, their grades are good, the teachers have been notified to watch for behaviour problems and report none, friendships are good, the seem happy.... but this has to be hurting them some, doesn't it? Are my W and I hiding things so well (HA!). Do we have their confidence that we are protecting them?

My son is almost 16. He is a teen. He grunts more than speaks, although he's never been verbose. There is a 5 year age difference between him and my D. Obviously, the don't share much in common. It's obvious they love and like each other. It's obvious my D really looks up to my S (almost worships him at times). How will splitting them up affect them? We've asked them how they feel about this plan, and they say it will be sad but they are ok with it. I think my son will be too involved with himself (H.S., sports, driving...) to be too sad or miss mom or sis too much. I espcially worry about D.

Son and I will visit AR as much as is possible. We will call, email, etc, often. I hope it's enough.

As for the OM, I think I've made it a bigger issue than it is. For me it's huge, but I believe my W when she says she has cut off contact and will not contact him again. I have jealusy issues, and self esteem issues over the OM, but I think we're OK. I'm worried about somebody new though coming onto the scene. I hope she's not looking for someone, subconsciously. (maybe I should spell check).

It's hard to see how the distance and separation can be anything but bad for the M, but.... seeing her happy and excited by her new job, hearing her say she wants US to work out, knowing that she needs to do this for her own growth, I think good can come out of it. Lot's of pain, for me at least, but growth and something good in the end.

J, Your sitch is somewhat different. Your H did most of what he did without consulting you. My W said she would not move or take the job if I said No.

I have some hope. I think my odds are at least 50-50.

Now about YOU! I eagerly await a post on your thread where you say what you've decided and why. I've followed your sitch and commented on occasion and really hope for the best for you and yours.