look, you people are the one's telling me that I'm "angry".
Your anger was very apparent in your early posts. Your W is also saying you make sarcastic statements. Those statements do not come from happiness.
I never claimed to be; I'm just trying to play along.
I know you never claimed to be angry, just unhappy, maybe depressed, disappointed. That still sounds like repressed anger to me, especially considering what you’ve told us. Playing along is just hiding.
yeah, I wish things had turned out differently. I wish I had won the lottery last week, too, and that the '86 Sox had won the series. I'm never going to be happy about any of those things.
But do you make sarcastic statements to others and carry a negatively attitude that affects your M because you did not win the lottery?
what lies?
That’s exactly my point! (the lies are the justifications given you that being “more independent,” shutting down emotionally, dancing on eggshells to please your parents and gain their approval, and plenty more I’m sure. Why don’t you tell us about that?)
so...I should try drugs, instead?
How about get in touch with your emotions and your pain?
I stated earlier: ...And if you don’t know that, how will you ever learn your own feelings?
I think this was your reply to that statement, but it was embedded in the quote box:
Whenever I do recognize and express a "feeling", it comes back to bite me in the arse, big time. (as was the case here. Fear that something bad may have happened.)
Let’s go with this last statement of yours, hopefully to explain where I am coming from. Why do you think a statement about your feelings can come back to bite you in the arse, big time? What fear are you talking about, what “Fear that something bad may have happened.”
BTW, I want to make a distinction between what I am saying to you and what Corri said to the Mrs. Corri was telling your W that it is ok to feel what she feels. The same goes for you. But first you have to realize what you feel, and you are the one who says you don’t feel anything.
I would also ask the Lil, Corri, and others help out CAC on exploring his feeling, because I am not the best at doing this.
Fearless,
I, at 14, explained that Dad was not really yelling AT her for messing up (although she had messed up). He was yelling because the cows were out and he was frustrated. Because she was so emotionally tied into the situation and was feeling hurt she could not see his issue and likewise for him (plus he had to get back to milking so there was no way for him to comfort her.
This yelling by your dad was not good. Your justifying it and making excuses for his behavior was not good, even though you are technically right. It puts you in the position of playing arbitrator, a position WAAAY to powerful for a 14 year old. Just because your parents were able to work through this and come to an understanding does not mean that other couples can. Your dad was not being honest and was instead projecting his anger and frustration onto others to relieve himself. Do you see that?
