given the screwed-up dynamic between them ====== welcome to the club! we've got jackets. Your W at some point will have to accept that your Ps are they way they are and will never change. She might be making all sorts of assumptions too. I know I'm not crazy about my MIL and vice-versa, but we put up w/each other for the sake of H and kids. My C once told me "his mom was there before you".
Tell your wife you are aware of your P's inperfections, but that she, your W, is the woman of your life now.
And if she is open to it, I def. suggest C, my H and I benefited greatly from going to C sessions weekly after he came back. Or at least some sort of T for her.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
