SR- checking in on you, looks like OF has really hit the nail on the head. you've had much difficulty detatching because everything your W says and does breaks your heart or lets you down. if you need to push her away to start feeling better about yourself, do it. the key here is not letting her think that she has one bit of an influence on your life. DON'T worry about her right now. if she is going to come back, she'll do it, but on her own time. she must, however see that you have a life without her that you are comfortable and excited about. remember, it was when my H did this to me that within only a couple of months i was begging him back. the catch is, he really had moved on. it was not just a show. he discovered himself and got a life. worked like a charm.
i know you are tired. i actually told my H about your situation, and he was #1 happy that you had stuck up for him a number of times and given me insight, and #2 very understanding of your situation.
just be prepared. if you do truly let go, your W might decide she wants to come back. then what?
