However he doesn't "talk" to me, doesn't tell me how he is feeling, what he wants, you know that kind of thing, now he has never really been one for talking, however with everything that's gone on he must realize the importance of this. =================== If in the past he wasnt the kind to talk feelings, much less now. Men's language isn't talking about feelings, you are assuming too much ("he must..") He IS doing the best he can but each time you want more and more and not looking and appreciating what's there, he'll end up feeling he isnt' doing enough when what he is giving you is the best he can for now. I mean this in the best way: LET THE MAN BE. CALM DOWN.
My H had to tell me this so many times when I tearfully ask him why he didn't do this and that for me, he'd tell me to CALM DOWN, that we were getting there, but that I needed to stop freeting .
====== Am I being mean to him by not trusting, ======== No, I think you are hurt and your trust will build up layer by layer WITH TIME.
======== always expecting the worse to happen, and I guess the worst from him? ======== This feeling with undermine any progress you guys might be making, you need to stop waiting for the worst in him. Yes, he's messed up, but you have chosen to give hm a second chance, give him a break, fight the negative thoughts.
===== and a tiny part of me worries, that once we are back he will ... ===== You are full of fear. STOP. If he leaves, then good riddance-- but that is an unlikely scenario your scared mind is making up. I've done the same, wondering if my H came back out of convenience, just to get his 8K debt paid, etc etc. You need to clear your mind of ASSumptions and just free yourself to love him and trust him.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
