He is leaving to be alone to THINK - now what?

[ourcrisis]

Just journaling.
I am still feeling extremely hurt. I delivered a letter to him at work at the lobby, basically telling him that I will not communicate with him anymore because I cannot stand any more pain and lies. I asked him to call me whenever he made his decision (in a few weeks) Meanwhile, I told him I will be thinking on my own and trying to live a life without him.
I feel so much pain being betrayed again by his lies. He said he was going to be alone, but instead he is letting OW visits him (if not staying there). I am seriously thinking about leaving because I think I will not be able to trust and respect him ever again.
He did texted me a few messages after he read my letter. He told me he still loves and respect me and the kids but he has to do what he has to do (I do not know what this means exactly, probably meaning he has to properly let OW go because he did her wrong with the abortion stuff). He "promised" that he will answer any invasive question and agree to all restrictions when he comes back.
The thing is, I am starting to NOT care anymore about what he says, probably because I do not believe any of it. If I were feeling scared, I may be OK. But the thing is, I feel at peace that I do not care. I am actually thinking about how to tell the kids and considering child custody, where to live, etc. This is scary.
If he does come back, based on all his previous track record before this whole affair, it is logical to assume he will be a great husband and will be committed. However, I am worried that he has pushed my trust and my love too far this time. My love for him may have died with this last episode of betrayal.
I think I am still hurt. I will give myself a few days to think this over. Meanwhile, all advice are welcome. Thanks.