If I can find my way to the ministry through this would be a sweet gift from God.
Pray that for me. Your lips to God's ears.
When you talked about the keepsakes -- well, I got choked up. I did that the night my wife told me she might not want to be in the marriage. That was over a year ago. Everyone else was asleep and I went through the wedding piotures and the family albums. I keep a pillow in my lap so I could stuff my face into it to muffle the tears, rather the shrieks and the howling. I sounded like a wounded animal. I have never told anyone about that experience before.
I know how it feels. It feels God-forsaken. Welcome to what St. Paul calls having fellowship with Christ's sufferings. This is the test of who we really are.
Let me talk about God with you some more. Someone told me that every Christian is called to a certain detachment with the people in his life. Our family, our goods, our health, our honor, our good name, all these things are gifts from God. They can only be truly enjoyed when we relinquish them to God and say to him, "Even if you take all these things away, I will love and worship you, for your love is better than life." We all need to go to Mt. Moriah, like Abraham and be willing to sacrifice Isaac so-to-speak, for the love of God. If we cannot relinquish all these things to God, they become idols in our life. And idols are not always grotesque pagan statues, they can be good things: family, prosperity, health, a good education, etc. And if they are idols, then they control us. We are invited to love and be loved perfectly by Christ. He's all we need. Once we are full with Christ, then everything else can be enjoyed in it's proper perspective. If we lose them, we will grieve, but we will not be devasted. If we don't get what we desire, sure we will be disappointed, but we won't collapse into despair. We have the greatest treasure -- God.
It's this way with our marriage. If I am full with Christ, then I don't need my wife to be happy. Sure I would love for her to be in my life, I would love to share a wonderful life with her --in fact, I'll invite her into it. But -- and here's the big but -- the pressure's off. She won't feel my desperate idolatrous energy that will be crushed if she refuses my invitation. Rather, she'll see a full, happy and content person who wants to share his joy.
Sound familiar?
So you see..God is the supreme divorce buster.
Let's talk about God's will.
Big subject.
You can look at things simply or complexly. If you look at things simply you'll say: It can't be God's will for my wife to leave me, so if she does it simply says that God sits back and says, "Sorry 8, this free-will thing is a real bitch. I can't interfere in this one. You got burned on this one." End of story.
Or you can be a little more complex and say, well God's in control of everything And all things come to us from his hand. And...all things work for the good of those who love him and are called to his purposes. So...even through this marriage issue is calamity right now, this is being brought/allowed into your life by God for your good, to shape you into a more powerful, loving being.
Look at Genesis 50. Joesph was betrayed by his brothers and sold into slavery into Egypt. Bad thing. They freely did this. Joseph rose to the ranks to be the #2 guy in Egypt. His brothers came to Egypt to buy food because there was a famine in Israel. They realized Joseph was the #2 guy and they were sh#tting in their pants. Joseph forgave them and brought his family to Egypt to save them from the famine. Joseph was gracious and told them something interesting. Listen to it: "Do not worry, what you meant for evil, God meant for good, the saving of many lives." His brothers' freely willed evil action was simultaneously God's good action to save their family. How's that for a paradox? Who was in control? God. Was the brother's action any less evil? No.
Go figure.
So...perhaps as you talk about accepting God's will for you life, remember, you can't see the big picture. Your wife's evil actions (let's be honest here) may be God's hand for something wonderful yet to come. What you do know, is God's got your back.
I'm out of time now...
Let's talk next time about all the options you have....
