How are you doing today? I've been thinking about you.
I just read a post on someone elses thread about a good way to think about the place we find ourselves in. The time between the past and the future. The writer makes the analogy of standing between 2 doors - I'll post it here. You might get something from it.
It was written by a man who's wife left him and instigated a VERY quick divorce (I think they were divorced within 3 months from the time she told him she wanted out) to a woman who's a stay at home mum. She's been on the boards for 5 or 6 months and is going through a tough separation with 2 little boys. She's lovely and very clever, loving, hurt, confused etc. It's a nice read.
Quote:
W2S explained that there was a door in front of me and a door behind me. The door behind me represented what I had once had with my ex-wife and any possibility of it being restored one day. The door in front of me represented all that potentially was in front of me for the future. You can't make it to that door in front of you if you insist on always looking back at the door behind you. For most of us we reach a point where we realize that, at best, that door behind us may be open JUST a crack, barely more than that. Why would we choose to spend all our time looking backwards, knowing that in the process we might never make it to that door of possibility in front of us?
You see, I realized I wanted to move forward. W2S helped me to understand that it was possible to move forward to that newly opening door and STILL be aware if there was movement from that door behind me. At least then I would be moving in a positive direction.
I've told you before that from your posts I believe you are a strong and capable woman, possessing great passion and love for those around you. You have cared and nurtured your children in a wonderful way all through this mess with your husband. You have stood for your marriage and done everything anyone could ask of a wife who had been abandoned, scorned, and betrayed. You chose to consider your husbands actions those of a man in crisis, tried to hold on to your love and commitment to him. YOU HAVE DONE MORE than many would have done.
I don't say this to encourage you to stop standing. I say this to encourage you to MOVE FORWARD. Leave him alone, count him as lost and gone for good. I know it's hard. Terribly hard at first. But eventually an amazing thing happens. You realize that you begin liking your life again. You realize that there actually is promise and hope out there in front of you yet to be experienced.
Maybe it will include your husband again one day and maybe not. But you can't get to the good things that are out there in front of you until you are able to start living your life by looking forward instead of backwards.
Should movement begin again from that door behind you, you will always know that you can pause long enough to look back and check it out.
Or maybe you will find that what is in front of you makes you not want to look behind you any longer.
Let us know how you are going.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
