This second development of shame is harder deal with and from what I hear many companies are dealing with this issue with the Gen Y workforce. Employers are having difficulty because the employees do not, can not, hear criticisms in a useful way. Many were raised without ever hearing a criticism and therefore are struggling. This is not a healthy for anyone - employer or employee.
If you read the book “The Narcissistic Family” there is a discussion of the “perfect” family in which there are no arguments, everyone gets along well, no criticisms, just lots of effort to look good, put forth a good impression, and be that perfect person required to support that perfect family image. But his is just a different form or self delusion. It is narcissism just as much as the arrogant, self centered SOB.
Maybe some of those Gen Y kids suffer from having been forced to live up to that perfect family image and have little self knowledge. Like CAC4’s FOO, these kids spent their time trying to please others, the parents, who were actually shaming the kids into presenting the perfect image to sooth the needs of the parents. So once again, the kids lose.
Could you need to always please, find compromise and avoid hurt feelings have similar roots?
